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| People tend to have a lot to complain about, because everything doesn't always go their way. Does it make them selfish? Yes and no.
None of us can help that feeling of wanting things to go their way, but they can try to make the best of it.
I told this to a friend, and they asked me "How? How can you make the best of THIS?"
The truth is, it can take awhile to make the best of anything. Whether part of your life is ripped away, or your parents don't act responsibly like parents, or if you feel like no one is there for you.
It feels hopeless, right? Like there is no way in hell your life could get better or worse! As if your trapped in midair, and everything else keeps moving around you... without you.
All I can say is try to movie... push against the mourning, or sadness... Get determined to make it better, and it will.
Maybe not lightning fast, but your world does not revolve around these certain things. Your life has many different components. If you focus on the right ones it will smooth out into something better.
I hope this rings true for you. | | |
| Theory:
It's just all one big test. | | |
| I will do my best to refer to entry every day I don't see him.
I have a inkling that I might.... not be okay? If I didn't have the urge to be ambiguous I'd be nicer and spit it out.
Today was great, minus two little things.
I don't like his friends ont he basis he won't introduce like he used to want to, and because they're consuming him.
And also, I am beginning to have no life, other than vounteering and the occasional read. My distractions aren't up to par any longer.
Tomorrow I'll be paranoid and crying like I was before. Thinking he doesn't love me anymore, that he's changed and I'm the same as I've always been.
Like I said, I seem to not be okay. But, unlike those fortunate people in the world, I don't have the money or insurance to see a "doctor" about it. And my parents, my mother rather, would wite it off on being something I ate or I deluted myself into thinking.
Like I deluted myself into thinking I needed glasses. Right.
Anyway, subject changer...
Mountain Dew does not... I repeat not good for hair. Just though I'd add that in here.
Along with this long ranting post I would like to say that I can have the shittiest times in my life, but should really remember the good times. I tried that the other day but could not think of one because I was already ass deep in my own little drowning pool of... well whatever it was.
Examples?
The kittens and Trina&Mr. Fredo at the humane society. Cassie is coming home Thursday. Panera day Thursday. My writing is coming along. Cacoons and then turning into a butterfly. My friendships. Maxeen. getting my hair played with. The Jane Austen Book Club. Fantasy job offers. And the prospect of being a mom (no I'm not pregnant... I just think that motherhood would be amazing... no one seems to understand-unlessyouramother- the hard work you have to put into and how much love is in that bond).
Think, relax... calm. Don't tense. | | |
| Have you ever started hating the face you love?
That gut-wrenching feeling of when you think of them? And how they're not there, because they are too busy elsewhere?
Call me melodramatic, but that sucks.
My "Daily Horoscope" says that I may have a challenge to my self-esteem today. That someone will "appear" to reject me for "a much wanted promotion"..
Wanna know what I think?
Fuck promotions.
Are you gonna hate that face more and more everytime they go without you? Everytime they tell you that they can't see you because they're "going over to a friend's house again today"?
I wonder when it was, the last time you saw them. the last time you had a day to yourselves... just being with each other.
When was the last time... it felt like they wanted nothing but to see you. Remember that?
Well, maybe they're busy, right? I mean you see them at least 2 or 3 times a week for at least a few hours!
Isn't that enough for you? You can't be with them 24 hours a day- that is just a tad "clingy" you know.
They're starting off on life, give them a breather. Don't panic, don't over-react, don't think.
Yep... keep repeating that. | | |
| I need some. Badly. You'd think getting it so much would tire me out. Nope, not one itty-tincy-bit. Because I'm seeing myself getting what I want from different people...Well two other people.
What does that make me? Where do I stand on this subject? Fucked.
Irony at its best. | | |
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